We have many desires and wishes. When we move to a new place, we perhaps want a new kitchen, a larger television, or a more comfortable couch. Or, when we launch into a new hobby, we quickly reach a point where we want (or should I say need) better equipment… Have you ever wanted fancier outdoor gear, better golf clubs, or new running shoes even though you've only run a few hundred kilometers in your current pair?

We recently moved to a new place, which naturally opened up discussions about interior design and furniture. I've been wanting to upgrade my vinyl player setup to include a device that could expose the audio output to all my AirPlay speakers around the house. Because… why would you not want that?

Then, as I was biking to the city the other day, I was reminded of the concept I'm describing in this post. The fact that after a few months or years with vinyl blasting in every room in my house, it will have become the new normal and I'll be longing for something else or to upgrade in a different way. Why can't I just be satisfied with what I have, I’m thinking. Where do these continuous desires come from?

A fulfilled desire becomes the new normal

We adapt remarkably well to our circumstances. Our brains evolved to never be satisfied - constantly scanning for threats, better shelter, more food sources. This restlessness kept our ancestors alive. But in a world where basic needs are met, that same wiring drives us toward endless upgrades. The dopamine hit from acquiring something new mimics the reward our ancestors got from finding a better water source or safer cave. Except now there's always another 'better' option just a click away.

I think many of us are guilty of giving into our desires. It’s in our nature to behave this way. Once you actually get that new couch, after some time it becomes… well, a couch.

… which in turn creates a new desire

Our baseline has reset. After a few years with the new couch, we know exactly why we need to upgrade it again.

In a world of consumer abundance, this loop becomes an endless cycle of desire. We fulfill a desire only to realize some time later that we have new desire.

The reasons for wanting the next upgrade seem obvious and justified. Of course we need better outdoor gear now that we're more serious hikers. Of course we need a faster laptop now that our work has become more demanding. We've convinced ourselves these aren't desires anymore; they're logical necessities.

Be grateful for what you have

… not obsessed with what you don't have. It’s an old saying I first heard a few years ago. The endless cycle of desire reminds me of this old wisdom.

It’s hard to stay in your skin. Like, really hard. Companies are good at instilling desires in us, sometimes even without us realizing it. They show us problems we didn't know existed - suddenly your kitchen feels dated because of an Instagram ad, or your phone feels sluggish after seeing commercials for the latest model. They're not just selling products; they're selling the feeling that your current life is somehow incomplete.

I hope that being conscious about how our desires can feel like needs will make you more mindful in the future when new desires pop up in your head (maybe I will end up buying the new AirPlay device, anyway…). I’m happy that I’m reminding myself, though… once again.